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Why you need to start believing more in yourself, and stop caring about most kinds of advice.

I created this site because I believe in living a good life. And that is what I think is the secret. The first step is to actually start BELIEVING that you have the power to live a good life, and get very specific about what that means to you. 

But there is a “gotcha”… sort of like an unavoidable kick in the head that can derail you from believing in yourself...

And that "gotcha" is that everyone else, also has something that they believe in. 

That friend of yours that is making less than $20k a year believes it’s impossible to make $100k unless you come from a family with money and get a college degree. And he’ll make sure that you know that by ranting about it for hours or days on end.

A lot of bosses or managers believe that you should show up on time and be at your desk when the clock strikes 8:00am, and that they would be doing you a favor by letting you leave an hour early one Friday a month. Some will try to convince you that they shouldn't pay you for those 15 minutes, or sometimes hours that you spent researching how to solve a problem. And forget about getting away from your desk for exercise, you don’t have time for that because pressing things need to get done.

Your (insert relative) believes that you would be crazy for turning down that amazing job opportunity for a startup tech company 5 states away just because it would be “full-time” and offers “benefits”… even though you could do that job from ANYWHERE (considering it is a “tech” company).

And more times than not, these same people that may even love and care for you - may also be the same ones thwarting your own intentions to live a good life. 

As humans we are social creatures that often suffer from biases and peer pressure on a daily basis, and it doesn’t take much to fall victim to other people’s influence or agendas. 

But there is a way to get clear about what YOU believe.

And that is by realizing that there are really four kinds of advice... Most of which you should just stop caring about.

First and worst, is that advice which is unqualified and is unsolicited. 

This is going to be the advice that comes from friends or family or people that do not share your vision. Sometimes it even comes with good intentions but often the folks offering this kind of advice have zero experience or results with the advice they are offering.

You didn't ask for it, and it's not going to help.

So, it is in your best interest to just ignore (and stay away from) this kind of advice -- because it’s worthless and will often throw you back a few steps and even kill your dreams.

Second to worst, is that advice which is unsolicited, and may be qualified.

This advice is almost just as bad as the first because you won’t be open to it. Even if the person giving the advice had the answers and keys to your success, you won’t use it if you are not open to it. If you learn how to recognize qualified advice, then it IS useful if you need it. But if it’s advice that you don’t currently need in your life then it only becomes a distraction.

Then there is unqualified advice, that maybe you ARE asking for (soliciting).

And even though it may be unqualified, it’s not totally bad because you will learn from it. Maybe someone tells you something, and you accept the advice, but realize that maybe it’s just not for you. Now, moving forward you will know what to avoid.

This could be like asking a friend about what kind of salary you should ask for and they tell you that $50k a year seems more than fair. Yet, soon after you do your own homework, you discover that even though $50k-$60k year is what the census says is the median income, you also find out that is much less than you will need to earn in the long run if you want to support your family, or even retire. This just means that maybe you need to change your target, and seek advice from someone who does understand finances.

Fourth there is the advice that you do solicit, and IS definitely qualified.

This is good advice. It is the advice that you need to learn how to find. But beware, it’s not ALL going to come from one or two people. It’s not always going to be easy to find, but when you do find it - it’s powerful and effective. That “thing” you were struggling with, disappears as if it was never an issue at all and the pressure lifts away like a day clearing after a storm.

It's like finding a good book keeper that makes sense of your mess, and saves you more on taxes than you ever pay her.

Or it's like learning a new process from an experienced developer that eliminates 50% of the work that you were doing, and saves you 5 hours a week just on that one task.

So, that is why you need to be specific about what you are looking to achieve. First, prove it to yourself that certain systems are flawed, and prove it to yourself what will work for you -- so that you can lead a good life for yourself and those you love. 

I'll end this short post by saying that my advice to you (even if it may be unsolicited) is to learn how to find the time, simply take your power back, and then learn how to find effective qualified advice that will get you where you want to be in life.

Then, ditch those systems that don’t work, and never look back. 

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Nathan Bray

Founder / UX / Design

Hi, my name is Nathan Bray. I know that it often seems both difficult and time consuming to make progress with a freelance career or web project. If you are open to learning more, I'd like to share with you many of the key insights I've discovered from my own experience that can provide a significant boost of positive results.

Since you are here, these are 3 ways that I can help you:

1. Watch the free training videos on user experience, planning, and strategic web design. Topics range from UX and User Centric Design, to planning, discovery, money, strategy, design, and more.

2. Join the membership, and get additional access. Free videos are helpful, but with a membership you gain access to additional resources, tools, checklists, progress tracking, and standard operating procedures which you may implement in your own business.

3. To hire me to help with your project, CLICK HERE to schedule a time to talk on the phone.

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